Enough or Too Much: Are You Too Busy?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 at 5:00AM "You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough." --William Blake
How do we know when we are busy enough rather than too busy or able to do more? Is there such a thing as an ideally busy life? And why is it so tempting to pile on so many commitments that life becomes unhappy and stressed?
Enough or Too Much?
No matter how efficient I might be, my hours on this earth are finite. I know from experience that I will wear myself down if I do not have a certain number of hours to devote to my family, my friends, sleep/exercise/food/hygiene, creative and spiritual work, and quiet unstructured time alone.
Now, I am fine if there are days and weeks or even an occasional month where that balance shifts quite far from the center. However, if that state continues week after week, I become sad and tense. I start to suffer-- so too do my loved ones and the quality of my work. I still end up in this overly busy place sometimes these days, but in the past I chose to dwell there for long periods of time by majorly overcommitting myself and not knowing when to call a halt.
Those times were awful, and I moved on and grew wiser. After repeated lessons, I finally got it through my head that I do not want to do that again-- balance and happiness are too important to me. In the long run, I get more done when I'm not stressed out anyhow and I am a happier, more loving person. So now I've become very careful about taking on new stuff, and rarely find myself over-committed for more than a brief interlude.
However, I had to go through all those mistakes and a lot of stressed-out suffering first to get here. The problem is that only by experiencing too much do we know what enough looks like for each of us. Even knowing what it looks like for me, I notice that some people rush to pile more stuff onto themselves anytime they are in the happy-just-busy-enough zone instead of the stressed-out-doing-too-much zone. It makes me wonder if they find something scary about the idea of not being too busy.
Signs of Too Much
Here are some signs that you may have strayed from busy enough over into too busy:
- Irritability
- Drowsiness/exhaustion
- Trouble sleeping
- Worrying a lot
- Feeling drained
- Becoming forgetful
- Missing deadlines, appointments and commitments
- No longer able to find enough time for sleep, exercise, healthy eating, small personal pleasures and other self-care
- Complaints from family and friends that you are not available to them
- Depression, anxiety or other mental health issues arising
Cutting Back
If you are ready to recover from being habitually too busy, you will need to seriously assess your life and decide how to cut back. If you do that, you may even find that, paradoxically, you get more done because you are more relaxed and focused. There is a fine line between overly busy but still coping, and doing yourself or your loved ones harm from neglect. Only you can find this line for yourself
Putting off Balance
Beware of the trap of putting off this reckoning and deciding to seek balance later. It's all too easy to think that as soon as you hit the next milestone, you'll change. There is always another milestone ahead if you want there to be one. Only you can say whether your overly busy state is truly temporary in nature, or if it's become a lifestyle.
Pondering Enough
Do you know what busy enough vs. too busy look like for you? If you know what "enough" looks like, but are struggling to get there, what keeps you staying in an overcommitted space?
Reader Comments (4)
Excellent points, Thekla! Balance is something I have to work at continually. What you said about the trap of seeking balance later is so important, maybe you should put it in bold type! LOVE your blog!
I've got to think that when we don't have a schedule that is detailed enough that life often feels overwhelming... because we end up carrying all the details in our heads, which is inherently stressful. Better for us to have it all laid out in front of us, giving our minds the chance to relax.
Hi Francis. In my opinion everyone needs to find a level of detail that works for them. While some people do work best with highly detailed schedules, others find this confining or a lot of work to maintain and do better with more generalized scheduling of their tasks and working mostly from a to-do list. I must say I'm in the latter camp, because I think it allows for more flexibility to handle interruptions without having to constantly redraft your schedule, as well as to sometimes choose specific tasks based on energy level at the time rather than pre-determining them. But the most important thing is to figure out what works best for you!
Thanks Jean! Balance is definitely something that requires ongoing effort, but I think it's worth it.